Crone age

It might be the best age of your life

Aug 03, 2026

On Instagram, I recently posted a few captioned photos of my saga with headshots, which as a reader of this newsletter, you are already familiar with. I did it not because I like plastering my face in public spaces but because there’s a trend of still photos + inset captions on IG right now and it seemed a good way to reuse old photos. I’ve done this twice now and the uptake is exponentially better than my usual posts, so the verdict is clear: expect more photos of my face on IG in the future.

Part of that post, however, has to do with the fact that I’m at an age when it’s hard to take a good picture. I’ve reconciled myself to the fact that women my age must embrace who they are at this age.

And that age is crone age.

Fear not: this is not a derogatory term.

I came of crone age not too long ago. In my case, it happened after my mother had passed. It hit me that I was in the last third of my life (presumably) and I had some decisions to make. Life is finite. I had ten, twenty (if I was lucky) good years left to me—how would I spend them? What did I want to do with my life?

Some people come up with bucket lists full of travel or crazy things, like jumping out of airplanes or bungee jumping off bridges. No surprise, those people are usually men. My husband took up riding motorcycles up and down mountains. (It’s not as bad as it sounds: he’s careful, and it’s safer than driving a motorcycle on city streets. But I will point out that there are no women in this local group.)

I think women, in general, take up different pursuits. I won’t say gentler pursuits, but they tend to be things we can do indoors or can do for many, many years. I like to learn something new every 4-5 years just to goose my brain. It started with quilting, the love of which surprised me in its vivacity. I had to stop eventually because it was very hard on my hands.

I’m not alone in taking up “grandma hobbies”, says the NY Times.

There are only so many crone-appropriate activities. Keeping an herb garden, roasting children in ovens, putting chicken legs on forest huts.1 Anything requiring fine motor skills like embroidery and cross-stitch were out for me. Gardening was out, too; while I admire flowers and like having fresh herbs, I don’t like sweating profusely in the heat and having bugs dive bomb my face. So picky!

I highly recommend my latest passion, weaving, a very crone-appropriate hobby. My journey to weaving started with a potholder-making kit (gateway drug!) because I’d always loved the look of plain weave. After a few weeks of that, though, I knew it was time to move on.

Having a craft/hobby makes crone age so much more enjoyable. It gives you time to be alone with your thoughts and to indulge your curiosity. You’re doing it just for you, which means you can experiment, you can learn as you go. Who cares if it doesn’t work out? And for many activities, there’s plenty of tutorials on YouTube so you can learn from the comfort of your own home.2 I’m entirely self taught as both a weaver and a quilter.

Taking up writing, whether fiction or poetry or memoir, is a good activity for crone age and that’s because by the time you get to crone age, you know yourself better. There are many resources online to get you started on your writing journey. Reading is an elemental part of writing: make sure you make time to read more, expand your writer brain. (If there’s interest, drop a comment below and I’ll do a post on writing resources to get you started on your journey.)

The other thing about crone age is that it will be much more enjoyable if you exercise regularly and it will be a misery if you don’t. Bodies fall out of tune much more easily the older you get. The upside is that you’re released from the need to prove yourself in the gym. No need to try for a personal best every time you pick up a dumbbell. “Just enough” is fine. We’re talking maintenance, not bodymaxxing. The goal is to keep your body functioning, not to blow out your ACL. Parts may be on the verge of breaking; you don’t need to hurry the process along. Make sure you do some strength training for your bones and to preserve muscle.

Crone age will also be more enjoyable if you have crone-age friends. A gaggle (or coven!) of friends at the same stage of life, who enjoy a quiet evening of cards or playing board games, who like to go on day trips to the local orchard or—if you get along exceptionally well—escape together for a week of like-minded travel, lazing in beach house, hiking through the badlands, whichever floats your boat. (This is undoubtedly amusing our friends because we are notorious homebodies who rarely travel.)

In short, crone age is nothing to fear. If you’re lucky, it might just turn out to be the best time of your life.

The NYT equates crone age with menopause. (Boy it is so much more.)

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What readers have said about Incarnate:

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Great companion think piece to INCARNATE in the NYT: "The more we try to stabilize ourselves through self-observation and posting to the grid, the more fragile we become...We present a perfect digital double at the cost to our real selves." Read the entire piece here.

From Hansel and Gretel and Baba Yaga, for the fairy tale-impaired.

Though there is something to be said for learning in the company of others. If you’re not a hermit, like me.